Lilith The Gothic Pokemon Trainer
by Clare
Summary: A parody of the "Ghost and Dark Type Pokemon go with dark characters" cliche


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Lilith The Gothic Pokemon Trainer

Once upon a time, a girl named Lilith Demona Ebony Black lived in the world of Pokemon. Lilith was a goth; you could easily tell this because of her name and because she mostly wore black. She had long straight hair which was as black as ebony and she always wore black eyeliner. And her nails were always painted with black nail varnish.

One day, Lilith got out of her bed (which was carved to look like a sarcophagus and was lined with blood red velvet) and put on her clothes. Today, she was going to wear a black leather mini skirt, a black top with red skulls all over it, red fishnets, black boots and black lace gloves. She also wore a collar made of black leather round her neck, as well as a skull-shaped hairpin in her raven hair. When she was dressed, she picked up her backpack (which was made to look like a Duskull) because this was the day she was going to get her first Pokemon.

Lilith made her gloomy (because goths are always gloomy) way to Professor Nightshade's house. "Oh, hello," said the Professor when she arrived. "Lily, isn't it?"

"Lilith," Lilith corrected him morosely. She hated people calling her "Lily" because she thought it was a stupid, preppy name and everyone knows that goths always hate preps. "And I'm here for my Pokemon."

"All right. Which Pokemon do you want?"

"I'll take a Gastly, please." Since Lilith was a goth, she was drawn to Ghost and Dark Type Pokemon and had decided those were the Types she wanted to specialise in. She dreamed of one day becoming the world's greatest trainer of Ghost and Dark Pokemon.

Anyway, Lilith got a Gastly and a supply of Poke Balls from Professor Nightshade. She also got a Pokedex to help her on her Pokemon journey. Then, she left Midnight Town and set off on the road to the next city.

* * *

Along the way, Lilith saw lots of Pokemon. But none of them were the Dark or Ghost Pokemon she wanted, so she just had Gastly battle and defeat them. The first Pokemon she actually caught was a Murkrow which she found just outside Purpleblack City.

"Go, Gastly!" she called, throwing her Gastly's Poke Ball and releasing her Ghost Pokemon. "Use Hypnosis!"

Gastly used Hypnosis and sent the Murkrow to sleep. Then, Lilith threw a Poke Ball which hit the Murkrow and sucked him inside. The Ball shook for a few seconds, before it closed with a ping. Lilith had caught her first Pokemon! Soon, she would have all the Dark and Ghost Pokemon in the world, but, right now, she decided to head for Purpleblack City.

Just before she got to Purpleblack City, something terrible happened. Lilith dropped one of her empty Poke Balls just as a Pachirisu was passing and the Pachirisu got sucked into the Ball, which closed before Lilith could do anything about it. She was furious; she hated cutesy Pokemon and swore at the fact she had wasted a Poke Ball on a Pachirisu.

Luckily, when she got to Purpleblack City, she met a man who wanted to trade an Absol for a Pachirisu. So Lilith and the man agreed to trade and went to the local Pokemon Centre so they could make the trade. Afterwards, Lilith was very pleased with herself; not only had she rid herself of a sickeningly cute Pokemon which only preps wanted, she had acquired a cool new Dark Type Pokemon.

* * *

There was no Pokemon Gym in Purpleblack City, so Lilith left as soon as possible and set off on the road to Charcoal City. Along the way, she caught a Misdreavus and a Houndour to add to her collection. She arrived in Charcoal City late that night; the Gym was closed for the night, so Lilith spent the night in the Pokemon Centre. Tomorrow, she would fight the Charcoal City Gym Leader to win her first Badge.

The next morning, Lilith took off the oversized black t-shirt she used as a nightie and put on another gothic outfit. This time, she wore a black mini dress in the gothic Lolita style, black stockings and the black boots she had worn yesterday. Then, she picked up the Poke Balls containing her Gastly, Murkrow, Absol, Misdreavus and Houndour and headed for the local Gym.

The Charcoal City Gym Leader turned out to be a boy named Peter, who used Psychic Pokemon; his team consisted of Espeon, Spoink and Drowzee. Needless to say, because all of Lilith's Pokemon were strong against Psychic Pokemon, she won the battle and received a Psy Badge. Then, she left the Gym and began to make her dark and gloomy way to the next city. Along the way, she met an old woman who gave her an Eevee. Needless to say, Lilith evolved the Eevee into Umbreon.

Lilith was very proud of herself. She had won her first Badge and she already had several cool Dark and Ghost Type Pokemon. If she kept this up, it wouldn't be long before she was a Dark and Ghost Pokemon Master. First, though, she had to win more Badges, starting with the Gym in Shadow City. So she headed in that direction, encountering lots of Pokemon along the way. But, since none of them were Ghost or Dark Types, she did not even try to catch them.

She wasn't too bothered, though, because she knew she had a long Pokemon journey ahead of her and there was plenty of time to find and catch the sort of Pokemon she wanted.

* * *

Just outside Shadow City, Lilith encountered a preppy girl called Katy, who was training her preppy Wigglytuff and her preppy Delcatty. Seeing the two hideously cute Pokemon, Lilith grinned to herself, sure her team could easily cream these two lightweights.

"Hey, you!" she called to Katy. "Wanna battle me?"

Katy (who, like all preps, had blonde hair and wore blue jeans and a pink t-shirt) nodded. "OK. Don't think I'll go easy on you, though."

"Ha!" scoffed Lilith. "A wussy little prep like you won't stand a chance against me! I'm going to be the world's greatest trainer of Ghost and Dark Pokemon." She pulled out a Poke Ball and threw it. "Go, Murkrow!"

But little did Lilith know that Katy was way more experienced than she was, which meant her Pokemon were also stronger. When Lilith sent out Murkrow, Katy just laughed and had her Delcatty use Ice Beam, which was Super Effective and knocked Lilith's black crow out in an instant. Next, Lilith sent out her Gastly, then her Absol, then her Umbreon, then her Misdreavus, then her Houndour. The result each time was the same - Katy's Delcatty defeated them before they could land a decent blow. As Lilith called back her fainted Houndour, she felt even more depressed than usual because she had been soundly beaten in a Pokemon battle - and by a disgustingly cute cat, of all things.

But Katy wasn't finished yet. As Lilith turned to go, she told her Wigglytuff to use Sing, which sent the gothic trainer straight to sleep. Then, when Lilith was dozing and dreaming depressing dreams of Dark and Ghost Pokemon, she quietly removed all the Poke Balls from Lilith's pockets and replaced them with Poke Balls containing Pokemon she had caught. Next, Katy took a length of pink ribbon out of her backpack and tied it in Lilith's hair.

Satisfied with her handiwork, Katy walked away, leaving Lilith asleep on the side of the road, completely oblivious to what Katy had just done.

* * *

When Lilith woke up, the first thing she did was feel her head for no apparent reason. And that meant she found the hideous pink ribbon which Katy had secretly tied in her hair. She pulled it out and threw it on the ground in disgust. Nasty pink thing! Only preps wore things like that, preps like that girl who had defeated her earlier.

And, when she opened her Poke Balls to check on her Pokemon she got another shock. Instead of her collection of Dark and Ghost Pokemon, they contained some of the preppiest Pokemon in the world. "Go, Gastly!" she called, throwing the Poke Ball she thought contained the Pokemon she had started her journey with. But, instead of Gastly . . . a Pikachu came out.

"What the Hell?!" Lilith muttered, as, ignoring the yellow rodent, she tried to call out another of her Pokemon. "Go, Murkrow!" she called, throwing another Poke Ball. Flash! A Flying Type Pokemon appeared, but it wasn't a Murkrow, it was a Swellow.

"What's going on here?!" Lilith demanded. Again and again, she tried to call out one of her Pokemon, only to find herself faced with a Pokemon she had never caught and would never dream of catching. Soon, she was surrounded by hideously preppy Pokemon - a Pikachu, a Swellow, a Vulpix, a Bellossom, a Beautifly and a Prinplup. Disgusted at being surrounded by so many revoltingly cute Pokemon, she tried to make a run for it, only to find that the Pokemon kept following her no matter where she went.

Then, she found a note which Katy had left in her backpack. Trying to ignore the fact that it was written on pink paper, she opened it and read it:

_I've replaced all your Pokemon with ones I caught. Hopefully this'll teach you to call me a wussy little prep. See you around._

Katy

PS: If you think you can get rid of these Pokemon, don't bother. They've all been trained to follow you no matter where you go. Hahahaha!!!!!!

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Lilith screamed, as she realised she was stuck with six hideously cute and preppy Pokemon.


End file.
